Thoughts after Macworld

Macworld 2012 has started two ongoing discussions, one interesting, the other one less so. The interesting discussion concerns the spike in the presence of booth babe eye candy at the conference, and how that affected both the show and the sensibilities of the attendees. Of course, every male I’ve seen in these discussions vociferously states that they are not interested in such frippery, and that their personal views of these companies decline; I’m no exception. But market research says otherwise: an empty booth repels potential customers, and attractive models at a booth generate enough foot traffic to break the glass wall and allow real customers to stop by.

I’m more interested in what my female colleagues are saying, and surprised to hear that many of them feel denigrated by the practice. I’d prefer to believe that we’re past the point where the presence of a model can somehow reduce the perceived value of a female journalist or technologist. But that’s been somewhat proven wrong by a controversy caused by Violet Blue’s coverage of the conference. A while back she blasted some geek attendees of Macworld for assuming that she herself was an airhead model (and “retaliated” by playing the part and blogging about it). This year she (or her editor) captioned a photo “The Saddest Booth Babe in Existence”, which turned out to be of an independent iOS app developer at her first Macworld.

Long story short, I’ve got nothing against cheap marketing tricks when they’re done well, and I think hiring attractive models for your booth falls into that category. But hanging with Tonya Engst and Kelly Guimont were two of my best times at Macworld this year, and so I’m going to listen carefully when they tell me that something sets them off.

The less interesting discussion is about whether Macworld “isn’t like it used to be.” That’s a common refrain among many of the old-timers at the show. Personally, this is my second “real” Macworld in San Francisco, although I attended several East Coast shows back in the day. I can infer what they’re talking about, though.

First, it used to be that being an Apple guy meant you were a member of a much smaller club. Now you can’t spit in Starbucks without splattering an iPad. I disagree with people who think that we all bought Macs back then because it made us members of an exclusive club; the more accurate analogy is to friends of mine who spend most summer weekends driving around with other owners of Alfa Romeos. We liked Macs because there was something about them that made them better for us; most people didn’t see the distinction; and when it came time for us to gather together in person or online, we naturally became a tribe of affinity.

If we really wanted to keep the door to our treehouse club closed, we wouldn’t be happy about how many folks clog the Apple Stores these days. Most of us are thrilled, especially those of us who make our livings working with Mac owners. And if we pat ourselves on the back once in a while for being on the Apple curve before the rest of you, well, we don’t really expect you to join in.

Second, the old show used to have more big displays, notably including Apple. Personally, I can’t say that I miss their presence; I’m not going to get any news out of them at the show any earlier than anyone else, and the stuff I’m there to see isn’t going to be from Apple anyway. It’s batshit crazy to expect Apple to release new products in January when the Christmas season has just passed. My guess is: the biggest loss to the show is that big companies come with better swag. Used to be that you’d get press bags and free software, now it’s T-shirts and thumb drives.

If you think big shows are necessarily better, then head to the Consumer Electronics Show some year to be proved wrong. I missed this year and I’m looking forward to going again, but it’s exhausting as hell and a relief when everything I need to see takes up only one football field, not twelve.

But the big change is probably cultural, and that’s due to the Internet. I became a Mac guy back when “online” meant a community bulletin board system, and back then, trade shows were where you went for genuine news. Now it’s all on the Internet, and in Apple’s case, it’s news on the Internet long before it’s an actual announcement. This morning’s Twitter feed included a debate over whether Apple would hold an announcement in February or not. How much more meta can you get?

In any case, I don’t much care whether Macworld used to be better — I think it’s great now, and it’s going to be an annual part of my schedule. I go because it’s the one time a year that my online fraternity of Mac journalists and geeks get together, and I’m going to see them again or meet new members; everything else is just the trappings. My guess is that most Mac and iOS users of a tribalist bent will get the same buzz from the show, and can build the same sense of community. So long as that’s going on, Macworld’s a worthwhile trip.

Romney: “I’m proud to suck less than Newt”

The Onion with breaking news coverage:

Following a decisive win in tonight’s Florida primary, presidential candidate Mitt Romney took a moment during his victory address to reflect on the current crop of Republicans vying for the party’s nomination, telling the gathered crowd he “[had] to admit that, overall, it’s a pretty weak field.” “No question about it, you’re looking at a bunch of duds,” Romney said to his supporters, who grew silent as the former Massachusetts governor added that it was hard to imagine any of the GOP contenders, himself included, being president of the United States.

Hey, kids! You can be a drug mule!

This picture didn’t come out very well, but it warmly informs children under 12 that they can walk through security at DCA without taking their shoes off. Which also warmly informs anyone wanting to smuggle something onboard the plane that a child’s shoes is the way to avoid close inspection.

Either shoes are dangerous, or they aren’t. If they aren’t, then no one should need to take their shoes off. If they are, then kids shouldn’t catch a break.

Jeff @ Macworld: the Rapid Fire session

My write-up of the Rapid Fire session at Macworld | iWorld:

How much can you teach in five minutes? That was the challenge for ten speakers at Thursday nights’s Rapid Fire session at Macworld | iWorld. Borrowing the format from the Ignite conference series, the wide-ranging, two-hour session gave every speaker five minutes to engage the audience and say something memorable.

I call bullshit on Intego

Intego thinks that 2011 was a very bad year for Mac security:

2011“was the most active year for Mac malware since the release of Mac OS X.” Much of the stepped-up activity can be blamed on the emergence of MAC Defender malware and the Flashback program that masqueraded as an Adobe Flash installer. Intego estimated that “ several hundred thousand Mac users” were affected by the year’s “bumper crop” of malware.

I called bullshit on this a year in advance, and I call bullshit on this now. Sure, there are always possible attacks: I can write an AppleScript application that will fool you into giving up a password, then erase your hard drive. That would take me 10 minutes. But “several hundred thousand people” is a small percentage of all Mac users (even smaller now than in 2010), and frankly, you have to be fairly self-selecting to trip across many of the extant malware. It might be out there, but it’s no so much “in the wild” as it is festering in a swamp on the outskirts.

Not seen and not HUD

Ubuntu is experimenting with a new UI replacement for the menu bar. I’m seriously sleep-deprived, so I might have missed this, but there’s one big advantage in well-designed menus: they’re discoverable. Best as I can tell, if you don’t know about a particular function in complex software (and let’s face it, almost all Linux software is complex), you’re never going to find it. But with menus, you can also go searching for commands you’ve never tried before.

TSA Pie

A long long time ago,
I can still remember how
An aircraft used to make me smile.
I didn’t know it wouldn’t last
‘Cause after PATRIOT was passed
The airport made us into juveniles.
In the X-rays they deliver,
You can see my fat cells quiver.
Bare feet: no one’s shoes kept.
Can’t even take one more step.
The guard says I must step aside,
I packed a pint of Liquid Tide,
And that they just cannot abide
Before they let me fly.

So screw you, first class rows one and two,
Pricey ticket, you can stick it up your X-rayed wazoo.
We all had to pass a governmental review
Passing TSA’s microscoped queue
And have our pics snapped in the nude.

Now, for ten years we’ve been on our own
And it looks like we’re still pretty boned
Obama’s not for privacy.
There’s a snowball’s chance of last resort
Coming down from Chief Roberts’ court
And no voice that comes from you and me.
Oh and while your rights are blown to hell
The nation’s hooked on the NFL.
No courtroom to adjourn:
Your verdict is returned.
While Lenin read a book of Marx
The FBI used it for darts
And found out they liked several parts
Before they let you fly.

They’re still singin’
There, there, people up in the air,
We don’t care if it’s unfair to look up your derriere.
Just grab and spread ’em ’til your sphincter is bare;
We hope you don’t mind if we stare.
We’ll keep the pics as long as we dare.

So there we were all in one place
Two hundred souls in a tiny space
And time has seemed to stop as well.
Though Jack be nimble and Jack be quick,
Jack has to stand to scratch his dick
‘Cause middle seats are a kind of hell.
But though I’m sorry for that guy
I have to smile, because I
Booked the exit row
with plenty room to stow.
Six thousand years of Jewish genes:
Low elevation for my knees.
I’m short, stretched out, and very pleased
Now that I can fly.

So screw you, first class rows 1 and 2,
Paid a pittance for remittance and I’ve more room than you.
Drink your whiskey and rye ’til you’re all nicely stewed
‘Cause if the shit hits the fan on approach,
Y’all are the airbag for coach.

Yeah, I was singin’
Fie, fie, from up here in the sky,
Damn the TSA’s lies, but it’s amazing to fly.
I hope their common sense is a future surprise,
But I think that’ll be the day that I die.