Author Archives: Jeff Porten

Everyone tweeting that “this will change things”: a Congresswoman got shot in the head, and nothing happened. This is the status quo.

Caleb Garling @CalebGarling:
The second saddest story of today is the people in a meeting – somewhere, right now – working to spin this so they maintain gun rights

@CalebGarling @GlennF Having worked with lobbyists, can tell you: they’re not meeting now. They have plans made in advance and ready to go.

Taibbi on banking crimes

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I’m not in favor of seizure laws for drug and prostitution cases, which alongside extended jail stays and forced labor amounts to the sort of pauper’s workhouses that were outlawed in the 1600s. But Matt Taibbi makes an excellent point about how all you need to do the skirt drug law prosecution is to get involved in nine-figure deals.

So you might ask, what’s the appropriate financial penalty for a bank in HSBC’s position? Exactly how much money should one extract from a firm that has been shamelessly profiting from business with criminals for years and years? Remember, we’re talking about a company that has admitted to a smorgasbord of serious banking crimes. If you’re the prosecutor, you’ve got this bank by the balls. So how much money should you take?

How about all of it? How about every last dollar the bank has made since it started its illegal activity? How about you dive into every bank account of every single executive involved in this mess and take every last bonus dollar they’ve ever earned? Then take their houses, their cars, the paintings they bought at Sotheby’s auctions, the clothes in their closets, the loose change in the jars on their kitchen counters, every last freaking thing. Take it all and don’t think twice. And then throw them in jail.

Sound harsh? It does, doesn’t it? The only problem is, that’s exactly what the government does just about every day to ordinary people involved in ordinary drug cases.

Number of days before I had to increase Verizon iPhone plan from 2 gigs to 4 gigs: 4.

VZW Support @VZWSupport:
@jeffporten Sounds like you’re really going to town with that data on the best network! Luckily doubling your plan is a cinch! ^JHK

(Addendum: I wasn’t saying this was a good thing. More in an upcoming post.)

Peter Cohen @flargh:
In order to stay environmentally conscious, I’ve decided to sell my car and ride an oxcart yoked to Ed Begley Jr.

@flargh Begley gets low mileage. You should trade him in for a younger model.

Lex Friedman @lexfri:
SERIOUSLY how are you supposed to send your kids to school? I HATE being a father, because it makes these stories SO MUCH WORSE/TERRIFYING.

@lexfri At risk of being cold: count # of schools, divide to very low ratio, breathe deep. And hug your kids a lot til you’re happy again.

“@arstechnica: 27-inch iMac is positively austere on the inside ars.to/Y1CRya by @Lee_Ars” // Empty case powered by fairy dust

Shawn King @ShawnKing:
Know-It-All Guy at the party just said, “In Arizona, it’s illegal to *NOT* pick up a hitchhiker…” He’s SO full of shit, isn’t he?

@ShawnKing there are states with laws saying you have to rescue someone stranded in dangerous heat. Might be referring to that.

Shawn King @ShawnKing:
@jeffporten Seriously? Sounds like serial killer heaven… :(

@ShawnKing if you’re in the desert without water, you’re better off getting a lift from the Son of Sam.

Shawn King @ShawnKing:
@jeffporten No – if you’re dumb enough to be in the desert without water, Darwin takes over…

Kelly Guimont @verso:
I was gone when iTunes 11 dropped, and I’m all ascairt now. Should I upgrade or wait for 11.0.2? #holdmyhandtwitter

@verso I’m waiting for bug fixes, and wish I’d stayed with 10.

Kelly Guimont @verso:
@jeffporten That good huh?

@verso I like it, but I lost the ability to convert MP3s to iTunes podcasts. Regular part of my listening workflow.

Hmm. Switched to Verizon for 4G coverage in Sprint dead zones, like Atlantic City. Not seeing LTE yet.

VZW Support @VZWSupport:
@jeffporten Then we need to find out what’s going on with 4G LTE access, Jeff! Which device do you have? What zip code are you in?^DGM

@VZWSupport LTE came up shortly after I tweeted. Good service since, except it’s *dangerously* fast as tether due to data caps.

@VZWSupport Burned 500M of data before I realized what was going on.

VZW Support @VZWSupport:
@jeffporten Thanks for getting back Jeff! You’re right about monitoring your usage. Let me know if I can help again. Take care!^DGM

Philip Michaels @PhilipMichaels:
If you mash up my Twitter feed right now, famous musicians are giving directions to Sandy victims via Google Maps for iOS.

@PhilipMichaels You forgot encrypted with 1Password.

david carr @carr2n:
I’ve tweeted 2x from #121212concert w major errors. Pretty sure that guy who slipped me some M&M’s was on the level, but,,,

@carr2n Don’t eat the brown M&Ms.

Apple & GMaps called hazardous by police in Australia, where even your goddamn phone will kill you if the fauna doesn’t.

Australia’s not so much a continent as it is Harry Harrison’s Deathworld.

Lex Friedman @lexfri:
The smell of singed hair
My arm now has a smooth patch
Chanukah haiku

Philip Michaels @PhilipMichaels:
@lexfri Unintentional burns suffered by the Maccabees are an oft untold part of the Hanukkah story.

@PhilipMichaels @lexfri Some of them grew eight arms, as told in the hit musical, “Spider-Maccabee: Turn Off the Dark (With A Menorah)”.

Glenn Fleishman @GlennF:
@jeffporten @PhilipMichaels @lexfri Hanukah translates as “depilatory.”

Kevin van Haaren @kvanh:
So terrible at social events. Once the background noise reaches a certain level I can no longer hear or concentrate. Have to hide or leave.

@kvanh Have you been tested for ADD? I have the same symptom, Ritalin helps.

Kevin van Haaren @kvanh:
@jeffporten no but been thinking about it

@kvanh recommended, especially if you are a regular user of nicotine, caffeine, or alcohol. Unconscious self-med strategies.

@kvanh Try reading _Driven to Distraction_, excellent intro and way to determine if this is a serious issue.

Kevin van Haaren @kvanh:
@jeffporten by hallowell?

@kvanh yeah, think so.

Andrew Laurence @atlauren:
@kvanh @jeffporten Hmm. I find excessive background noise to be painful. At parties I’m often looking for a quiet corner.

@atlauren @kvanh Loud environments cause constant task switching. This costs ADD brain more than healthy brains, making it very unpleasant.

Andrew Laurence @atlauren:
@jeffporten @kvanh This sounds familiar to me.

Kevin van Haaren @kvanh:
@atlauren @jeffporten I still have really good hearing and can hear all these conversations and it keeps me from focusing on anything.

@atlauren @kvanh If you can tolerate it for N amount of time, but eventually your mood deteriorates rapidly, that’s the exact symptom.

@atlauren @kvanh But panic disorders, agoraphobes, and people who don’t like noise will *immediately* have mood change.

Kevin van Haaren @kvanh:
@jeffporten @atlauren pretty much volume level + time for me. Definitely not agoraphobia.

@kvanh Yeah, you’re reporting classic symptoms. Go RTFM and schedule an eval.

@kvanh @atlauren Bottom line: evaluation is painless. Meds may have cognitive benefit regardless of diagnosis. & Ritalin is cheap.