@Total_Rewards: we hope you enjoy your time with loved ones!” // Last time I called your dealers that, got a restraining order.

Rich Siegel @siegel:
My @FedEx package keeps alternating between “On FedEx vehicle for delivery” and “At local FedEx facility.” What’s the story on that?

@siegel Depends. Is it larger than a proton, and how precisely do you know its velocity?

Rich Siegel @siegel:
@jeffporten I’m …uncertain.

Will subscribe to @TheMagazine to learn what to pitch @GlennF, but really, my last problem right now is “I need more to read,” however good.

Uli Kusterer @uliwitness:
Gateway chocolate: The first chocolate you eat from a box that opens the floodgate to eating all others in the box.

@uliwitness My parents used to run a gateway chocolate *store*.

Jacqui Cheng @ejacqui:
That moment of panic when you think you put your iPhone in the clothes washer.

@ejacqui That moment of joy at Otterbox when they realize you’ve goosed their Xmas sales.

Jason Snell @jsnell:
Karateka is now out for iOS. Finally back on Apple hardware where it belongs! I played it on my iPhone — lots of fun. itunes.apple.com/app/id560927460

@jsnell Just spent $3 to see if the princess will still kick me in the head.

Dear anyone at CES: it’s not *that* important to me that I cover *you*, so it’s a bad time to make it difficult to get press credentials.

@OEDonline: OED Word of the Day: Marchen, n.: oxford.ly/XMPV5H” // rare form of lycanthropy, full moon turns victims into drum majors

Can someone remind me if any IP-fu is needed to change the IP address of an OSXS 10.8 server? @bynkii?

John C. Welch @bynkii:
@jeffporten I think that’s a pretty well-documented process at this point. The gui should be fine

@bynkii thanks. Wanted you to confirm that docs were complete. Appreciate it, owe you a Macworld beer.

Geoff Duncan @geoffduncan:
Always puzzled why editing cookies in #Safari spikes all CPU cores to 100 percent.

@geoffduncan Xcode not optimized for chocolate chip and raisin handling. 10.9 will have NSOatmeal class.

Geoff Duncan @geoffduncan:
@jeffporten They’ll still be soggy: even with the 100%-on-all-cores feature, fans kick in and the oven still never makes it to 375°F.

@geoffduncan Try using a PowerBook 5300ce for extra crispy texture.

Robert Guerra @netfreedom:
@jeffporten: How, exactly, does @1Password contain age-restricted material?”

1Password @1Password:
@netfreedom @jeffporten Unfiltered access to the Internets! Hide yo’ kids. Hide yo’ wife. :-o

@1Password @netfreedom I always keep my kids and wife on an encrypted disk image for their protection.

David Chartier @chartier:
I love the end of ST:TNG’s “Relics” episode.

Scotty: Hey let’s go tell more stories over a drink.

Geordi: I have a better idea. GTFO.

@chartier Deleted scene: Scotty: “Why? Date with your hologirlfriend?” [opens bottle of Romulan ale, leaves to meet Ro @ Ten Forward]

Bryan William Jones @BWJones:
Tragic that there is such a twitter account. @gundeaths is tweeting every gun related death that occurs in the US. You have to face facts.

Today, a NYT reporter or editor decided if names of multiple child & adult murder victims should be alphabetized together, or as 2 lists.

Lex Friedman @lexfri:
What if the eight nights are in fact entirely sane, and WE’RE the crazy ones?!!?!?

@lexfri For one thing, we burn oil for light instead of using it to make more latkes.

Paul R. Gilmartin @mentalpod:
Wouldn’t it be nice if treating mental illness was given this much attention the other 364 days a year?

.@mentalpod Even nicer if they didn’t have to be scared shitless of us to pay attention.