• shelby fero:
  I only wear effortless pants.

@shelbyfero if your pants are making an effort to get into your pants, that can be uncomfortable.

• Brett Kelly:
  Just spent 20 minutes fishing pebbles out of the garbage disposal. As one dad?s.

@inkedmn if you’re using a fishing hook, you’re doing it wrong.

• Terrence Ryan:
  Getting ready to shoot some video about video editing. The Inception music will play the entire time. pic.twitter.com/2v2VhskPnX

@tpryan is that in your house? Impressive setup.

• Terrence Ryan:
  @jeffporten no. Adobe sf

@tpryan mistook your msg

• Joe Kissell:
  Have you ever noticed how few cocktails use prune juice as a mixer?

• Josh Centers:
  @joekissell Prune juice martini. We call it a ?shake and shit.?

@jcenters @joekissell Shake and Shit was also the original, rejected name for Jack in the Box.

“@TheFranklin: Ben Franklin memorial….getting some special “treatment” later this morning.” // A 30 foot marble statue of a French whore?

• Philip Michaels:
  The Krypton iPhone alone should get substantial orders from LuthorCorp.

• Dan Moren:
  @PhilipMichaels Please, Phil: LexCorp. AND YOU CALL YOURSELF A JOURNALIST.

@dmoren @PhilipMichaels And yet, you hired @lexfri despite his plans for global domination. Ever test if his hair is real?

• Steve Lutz:
  Another Sat night spent on D&D and Star Trek IV. If I went back in time, scrawny 10yo Steve would call me a dork and beat the crap outta me.

@slutz protect yourself with transparent aluminum, then pelt him with dodecahedral dice and whale blubber.

• Rezznul:
  @mkramer Quantum theory is a tough concept. I really like how you broke it down. That is a fascinating article.

@mkramer Which article? I’m in a state of uncertainty whether I’ve read it.

• Melody Joy Kramer:
  @jeffporten http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2013/08/130814-physics-quantum-computing-teleportation-star-trek-qubit-science/ ?

• Glenn Fleishman:
  The frisk/police harassment thing is like a man trying to understand the routine harassment of women. I can read about it; I can (1/2)

@GlennF you’ve never been in a situation where you had to fear the police? Try protesting sometime.

• Kelly Guimont:
  I think I will start swearing like this. #bydhttmwfi http://t.imehop.com/1a548FN 

@verso I prefer, “That’s so fucking obvious, only Troi would need to say it out loud.”

• Jesse Spector:
  Have a utility infielder? SELL IT FOR CASH! Have a lefty reliever? SELL IT FOR CASH! Have a platoon outfielder? SELL IT FOR CASH!

@jessespector This tweet belongs outside a store on Eighth and Sansom.

• Geoff Duncan:
  Sometimes even the smartest people tweet the dumbest things.

@geoffduncan That’s what I’m shooting for — “He MUST be smart, he’s always saying the dumbest things.”

• Melody Joy Kramer:
  Whereupon I explain quantum computing in what I think is an easy-to-understand way: does it make sense? http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2013/08/130814-physics-quantum-computing-teleportation-star-trek-qubit-science/ ?

@mkramer Have a few questions, which I’ll divert to email.

• Chris Foresman:
  Heads up for those missing the 17? MacBook Pro, here are some 2011 refurbs: http://store.apple.com/us/product/FD311LL/A/refurbished-macbook-pro-24ghz-quad-core-intel-i7 ?

@foresmac Whack them with a hammer a few times, and bingo, 17″ MacBook Air.

• Glenn Fleishman:
  I guess I wanted to state explicitly why it?s absurd in case any of you were suckered into thinking coverage = payoffs.

@GlennF If anyone ever starts offering payola, I’m getting in line. Either that or the International Zionist dividend is my 401(K).

• Dan Frakes:
  PR Tip: Just because you put “Mac Gems” in the subject line of your PR pitch, that doesn’t mean data centers and IaaS are Mac Gems fodder.

@DanFrakes However, it *does* give you the Kryptonian rage you need to create a diamond from a lump of coal.

• Andrew Laurence:
  Whoopsie.BlackBerry Said to Have Sought Buyers Since 2012 Without Successhttp://mobile.bloomberg.com/news/2013-08-13/blackberry-said-to-have-sought-buyers-since-2012-without-success.html ?#fb

@atlauren Also applies to my OKCupid track record.

• Peter Cohen:
  Hey Taco Bell: the Doritos Taco is tired and busted. It’s time to bring out the Cheetos Taco. #its420somewhere

• Andrew Laurence:
  @flargh :vomit:

@atlauren @flargh Doritos shell *filled* with baked Cheetos. And Arby’s Horsey sauce.

• Andrew Laurence:
  @jeffporten Well, that’s different. Carry on.

Note to self: avoid infinite loops when scripting the opening of Safari tabs.

• Glenn Fleishman:
  In Belgium, NYT says, ?Doctors and hospitals must provide estimates.? Orthopedists ?only? earth $443K/year, half that of Americans.

• Jane McGonigal:
  @GlennF wow that’s a good income…. Yeeeps

• Glenn Fleishman:
  @avantgame I weep for the poor Belgians, unable to buy 3rd houses.

@GlennF @avantgame What’s worse, they have excellent beer to console themselves.