I’m not sure, but I think I was just asked—for the first time—whether I qualify for the senior discount.

Listening to _Live and Let Die_ audiobook. Wow. The constant racism is hard to get past.

Dear Letterpress: if fugly isn’t a word, I don’t want to love in your world.

That was supposed to say “live”. Epic typo.

Random Facebook observation: it appears that if you want your own Portrait of Dorian Gray, the trick was to have dated me sometime in my 20s, after which I will do all of your aging for you.

That whooshing sound you just heard was the sound of millions of men, myself included, irreversibly crushing on Clara Oswald.

Downside of not having my laptop for Christmas: Constant panic that I left it on the Metro, even though I know damn well I left it at home.

You know you’ve had a long day when you consider watching some television, but it feels like too much effort.

Italian prime minister Monti steps down. Penn alums in Italy will miss him more than they expected to, but look forward to fewer key changes.

Greyhound website is apparently powered by the same 2-volt motor that pushes the bunny around the track.

So I track my comps along with my poker and gambling wins and losses to see whether I’m coming out ahead on this whole “Jeff spends lots of time in casinos” deal. I think I’m setting a new record, as the comp value of my hotel stays in the next 6-odd weeks is $1,963.

“@mattyglesias: Job applicants keep using words I need to look up. Ratiocinative?” Ain’t seen nothing until you get to physiolognomisticularitated.

#ThatAwkwardMoment when you realize the schmuck playing loud video at Starbucks is you, in a hidden tab.

“@PennCurrent: Penn Libraries adds early American Judaica collection http://t.co/KJiLkjic @AskVanPelt” because 220-yo Jews are ADORABLE

“@lifehacker: Refrigerate cookie dough for tastier cookies with better texture: http://t.co/RJaBlhXh” // or just refrigerate and fuck baking

We send more emails after midnight than you will all day. The few, the proud, the Porten Marines.

200th anniversary of Grimm’s Fairy Tales. Eat a small child to celebrate.

As this came up in a discussion here with Brian Greenberg, here’s Daring Fireball’s backgrounder on Apple-Google negotiations over maps on iOS.

http://daringfireball.net/linked/2012/12/14/blame-game Daring Fireball Linked List: The Blame Game

And the now-incredibly-trivial status update I came here to post: can anyone suggest a chain pizza restaurant with halfway decent food, and frequent discounts for we cheap bastards, that isn’t owned by a raging asshole? Papa John’s and Domino’s fail on the last clause (at least).

Dear Death: I can’t handle this four-days-in-a-row thing. Please go fuck off for a while.

I tweeted this at Phil Plait, but he didn’t respond: Phil says that mass falling into a black hole passes the event horizon at c. How is that possible? Paul Guinnessy? Ranieri Argentini?

http://www.jeffporten.com/?p=3746 The Vast Jeff Wing Conspiracy