I just managed to hit myself in the face with non-dairy creamer.

“@SeinfeldToday: George carries an empty Starbucks cup so he can use WiFi at any location.” // Dammit, I am sick of being the George.

Attention all friends with Keurigs: you have completely trained me out of remembering to pour water in my hotel coffee pots.

My Twitter friends are discussing how their kids don’t finish desserts. Meanwhile, it will take 3 guards to drag me from this cake table.

First Murphy’s Law of CES: when you have three bags, everyone tries to give you one. When you don’t have a bag…

Resolved: I need a posse of tech geeks who enjoy dancing.

I have enough work to do to easily justify an all-nighter, and a Monday schedule from 8 AM – 1 AM. Decisions, decisions.

Note to self for 2014: thing to bring that was left out of the bag this trip, Provigil. Apparently I can’t pull all-nighters like I used to.

Dream started w/deli with @GeorgeHrab, ended with trebucheting cows at enemy barns. Note: have never eaten with Geo.

RT @nitinganatra: @DrMacsBug yo mama’s so fat she sat on a binary tree and collapsed it to a linked list in constant time

2 attractive women, bus to AC, discussing men & birth control louder than they should. Unsure if this is annoying or useful intelligence.

NJT to Penn Station, followed by AC bus from Port Authority. If anyone wants to meet me during my layover-of-indeterminate-length, let me know.

Turns out the “send horde of children” alarm clock is nearly as effective as 1985’s “send small poodle to jump up and down on him” method.

Do you think the “Watch Your Head” sign knows that it’s making literally impossible demands of us?

Boarded 8 AM bus skipping coffee and cigarette. Realizing it’s nonstop to NYC. Send sherpas to Jersey turnpike, look for guy on roof of bus.

Note to self: iPhone USB tether + t-shirt pocket = uncomfortably warm left nipple.

Starbucks conversation with Russian woman about spy tech. It’s rarely this hard to determine if a stranger is paranoid schizophrenic.

Just booked an 8 AM bus ticket tomorrow morning. You are all welcome to call me at 7:30 to make sure my ass is out of bed. In other news, apparently I must really like Brooklyn Chuck, Jason Koppel, and Beth Takahashi.

Code comments are tiny little love notes to yourself, which all say, “I know you’re going to forget this, you stupid shit.”