So I’m sitting at SFO waiting for my flight, using the public wifi, and cleaning out my downloads folder, when I came across this document I snagged earlier today: FBI Bureau of Justice Assistance: Potential Indicators of Terrorist Activities Related to Internet Café.

Hmm. I wonder if reading an FBI document at an airport counts as suspicious activity. Or if the fact that my monitor currently has “Warning: I may be a dangerous person” written across it in a large font while I compose this post might be an issue. (Which I post to a blog named The Vast Jeff Wing Conspiracy….)

In any case… seems like 13 out of 15 listed potentially suspicious techniques are things that I might do, especially if I happen to be researching terrorism at the time. Or troubleshooting a client’s AOL email, which is also considered suspicious.

In any case, if you’re curious about what the FBI considers potentially suspicious at places like electronic stores, airports, and hotels, the list is here. I think I’m going to put off downloading the rest of them until I get home.

Much hay is being made on recent Romney gaffes, at the risk of overwhelming the true stories being told here. The following seems transparently obvious to me, but since few other people are saying the same things, perhaps they’re worth enumerating.

Romney talks about the poor because no one believes they are. Ask nearly any American, and very few of them believe they are “poor” or “very poor”. Just about every American calls themselves middle-class of one stripe or another, and that includes the guy who hasn’t had a job for two years, and the guy who makes $200,000 but has friends and colleagues who make millions. Of the people who do self-identify as poor, only a handful pay attention to politics. Appealing to the middle-class at the expense of the poor is a standing American meme, and it’s been 50 years since there was any mainstream political discussion of this.

Romney genuinely doesn’t get it, and that’s part of why people can’t stand him. You can tell a lot about how a person thinks by the words they use. This isn’t “gotcha” journalism, this is basic psychology.

The chattering class instantly dismissed discussion of whether W was a sociopath when analysis showed that he became very fluent with words when talking about punishment and retribution, but only made “putting food on your family” flubs when it came to expressions of empathy. This dismissal occurred because some things that are true are still considered impolite in political society. You unconsciously pick up on people’s speech patterns and cadences all the time when you’re building your mental model of what these people are like; it’s part of the 90% of communication that we all use without words. It’s also the hardest thing about ourselves to fake; cover up all you like when you want to present a facade, but your microexpressions and speech hesitations are going to show your true self.

There’s a storyline about Romney that he’s made too much money to understand what it’s like to not have any. This is persistent because it’s true. A man who can spontaneously offer to make a $10,000 bet, or refer to a $370,000 income as “not much”, has simply moved to a realm where money means something different to him than it does to the people he wants to vote for him. This in and of itself is not a problem — Americans don’t hate rich people — but the dissonance it causes when he tries to pretend otherwise is exactly why he comes across as phony.

No one cares about sociopathy in politics because the GOP is built on it. The core of Republican philosophy is “pull yourself up by your own bootstraps”, and is encapsulated in Herman Cain’s “if you aren’t rich, it’s your own fault”. Republican voters love to hear this, because it tells them two stories about themselves that they want to hear: that they’re personally responsible for their own success, and that the American Dream means that they don’t need to responsible for others in general, just members of their own tribes.

This philosophy completely ignores the obvious truth: bad things happen to good people, and these bad things can seriously affect one’s financial health. In an economic downturn, the proportion of people who get shafted goes up, and by definition many of these people are not responsible for having a giant target painted on their asses.

This is why Obama is going to win in a cakewalk in 2012, although few people seem to understand this yet. The bad economy isn’t going to pull voters away from him, because the GOP is pitching their standard message of “I got mine, fuck you.” Meanwhile, huge swathes of swing voters who once had theirs are now wondering whether they’re personally going to be screwed by a “fuck them” philosophy. They’re going to swing back to the GOP when they’re financially safe enough to do so, or when the GOP figures out that its message is so poorly timed. (And when the GOP stops nominating candidates that make Dukakis look like Mr. Charisma.) Obama’s message is “I’ll do my best to have your back.” That’s the sale pitch to have in 2012.

Macworld 2012 has started two ongoing discussions, one interesting, the other one less so. The interesting discussion concerns the spike in the presence of booth babe eye candy at the conference, and how that affected both the show and the sensibilities of the attendees. Of course, every male I’ve seen in these discussions vociferously states that they are not interested in such frippery, and that their personal views of these companies decline; I’m no exception. But market research says otherwise: an empty booth repels potential customers, and attractive models at a booth generate enough foot traffic to break the glass wall and allow real customers to stop by.

I’m more interested in what my female colleagues are saying, and surprised to hear that many of them feel denigrated by the practice. I’d prefer to believe that we’re past the point where the presence of a model can somehow reduce the perceived value of a female journalist or technologist. But that’s been somewhat proven wrong by a controversy caused by Violet Blue’s coverage of the conference. A while back she blasted some geek attendees of Macworld for assuming that she herself was an airhead model (and “retaliated” by playing the part and blogging about it). This year she (or her editor) captioned a photo “The Saddest Booth Babe in Existence”, which turned out to be of an independent iOS app developer at her first Macworld.

Long story short, I’ve got nothing against cheap marketing tricks when they’re done well, and I think hiring attractive models for your booth falls into that category. But hanging with Tonya Engst and Kelly Guimont were two of my best times at Macworld this year, and so I’m going to listen carefully when they tell me that something sets them off.

The less interesting discussion is about whether Macworld “isn’t like it used to be.” That’s a common refrain among many of the old-timers at the show. Personally, this is my second “real” Macworld in San Francisco, although I attended several East Coast shows back in the day. I can infer what they’re talking about, though.

First, it used to be that being an Apple guy meant you were a member of a much smaller club. Now you can’t spit in Starbucks without splattering an iPad. I disagree with people who think that we all bought Macs back then because it made us members of an exclusive club; the more accurate analogy is to friends of mine who spend most summer weekends driving around with other owners of Alfa Romeos. We liked Macs because there was something about them that made them better for us; most people didn’t see the distinction; and when it came time for us to gather together in person or online, we naturally became a tribe of affinity.

If we really wanted to keep the door to our treehouse club closed, we wouldn’t be happy about how many folks clog the Apple Stores these days. Most of us are thrilled, especially those of us who make our livings working with Mac owners. And if we pat ourselves on the back once in a while for being on the Apple curve before the rest of you, well, we don’t really expect you to join in.

Second, the old show used to have more big displays, notably including Apple. Personally, I can’t say that I miss their presence; I’m not going to get any news out of them at the show any earlier than anyone else, and the stuff I’m there to see isn’t going to be from Apple anyway. It’s batshit crazy to expect Apple to release new products in January when the Christmas season has just passed. My guess is: the biggest loss to the show is that big companies come with better swag. Used to be that you’d get press bags and free software, now it’s T-shirts and thumb drives.

If you think big shows are necessarily better, then head to the Consumer Electronics Show some year to be proved wrong. I missed this year and I’m looking forward to going again, but it’s exhausting as hell and a relief when everything I need to see takes up only one football field, not twelve.

But the big change is probably cultural, and that’s due to the Internet. I became a Mac guy back when “online” meant a community bulletin board system, and back then, trade shows were where you went for genuine news. Now it’s all on the Internet, and in Apple’s case, it’s news on the Internet long before it’s an actual announcement. This morning’s Twitter feed included a debate over whether Apple would hold an announcement in February or not. How much more meta can you get?

In any case, I don’t much care whether Macworld used to be better — I think it’s great now, and it’s going to be an annual part of my schedule. I go because it’s the one time a year that my online fraternity of Mac journalists and geeks get together, and I’m going to see them again or meet new members; everything else is just the trappings. My guess is that most Mac and iOS users of a tribalist bent will get the same buzz from the show, and can build the same sense of community. So long as that’s going on, Macworld’s a worthwhile trip.

A long long time ago,
I can still remember how
An aircraft used to make me smile.
I didn’t know it wouldn’t last
‘Cause after PATRIOT was passed
The airport made us into juveniles.
In the X-rays they deliver,
You can see my fat cells quiver.
Bare feet: no one’s shoes kept.
Can’t even take one more step.
The guard says I must step aside,
I packed a pint of Liquid Tide,
And that they just cannot abide
Before they let me fly.

So screw you, first class rows one and two,
Pricey ticket, you can stick it up your X-rayed wazoo.
We all had to pass a governmental review
Passing TSA’s microscoped queue
And have our pics snapped in the nude.

Now, for ten years we’ve been on our own
And it looks like we’re still pretty boned
Obama’s not for privacy.
There’s a snowball’s chance of last resort
Coming down from Chief Roberts’ court
And no voice that comes from you and me.
Oh and while your rights are blown to hell
The nation’s hooked on the NFL.
No courtroom to adjourn:
Your verdict is returned.
While Lenin read a book of Marx
The FBI used it for darts
And found out they liked several parts
Before they let you fly.

They’re still singin’
There, there, people up in the air,
We don’t care if it’s unfair to look up your derriere.
Just grab and spread ’em ’til your sphincter is bare;
We hope you don’t mind if we stare.
We’ll keep the pics as long as we dare.

So there we were all in one place
Two hundred souls in a tiny space
And time has seemed to stop as well.
Though Jack be nimble and Jack be quick,
Jack has to stand to scratch his dick
‘Cause middle seats are a kind of hell.
But though I’m sorry for that guy
I have to smile, because I
Booked the exit row
with plenty room to stow.
Six thousand years of Jewish genes:
Low elevation for my knees.
I’m short, stretched out, and very pleased
Now that I can fly.

So screw you, first class rows 1 and 2,
Paid a pittance for remittance and I’ve more room than you.
Drink your whiskey and rye ’til you’re all nicely stewed
‘Cause if the shit hits the fan on approach,
Y’all are the airbag for coach.

Yeah, I was singin’
Fie, fie, from up here in the sky,
Damn the TSA’s lies, but it’s amazing to fly.
I hope their common sense is a future surprise,
But I think that’ll be the day that I die.