The Governor on Twitter

Dear everyone who has shared this: the truly freakish thing is not that the DNA is different, but that relativistic effects mean that one twin is now YOUNGER.

Not sure how to calculate the total, but a GPS satellite needs constant readjustment or the accuracy drifts. Ballpark guess, the one in space experienced a few minutes less than the one at home, over a full year. But I could easily be wrong by orders of magnitude. NASA Twins Study Verifies Long-Term Health Effects of Space Travel

The Onion on Twitter

Cows stealing Penn Band thunder Farmer Derek on Twitter

Greer Cheeseman, count your blessings

United Airlines mistakenly shipped a Kansas-bound dog to Japan

ACLU on Twitter

Nicole Zhu on Twitter

Oh, FFS. Subhead to save you all a click: “Dems pick up a House seat in Pennsylvania – but is Lamb the start of a winning strategy or the establishment sidelining the Trump Resistance?”

Could be neither, you twit. Could just be a blue wave. And yes, Democrats are excellent at forming circular firing squads, but stories like this one hand out the guns and ammo.

My opinion: win at any cost first, my personal ideological purity becoming dominant second. Others disagree. That’s all. We disagree, we’re not blood enemies. Why Democrats Should Worry About Conor Lamb’s Victory

Riker Googling on Twitter

Now I want to visit this office, they sound like fun Ásta Helgadóttir on Twitter

This would concern me more if I weren’t convinced that Nancy’s astrologer was preferable and more qualified ‘Hollowed out’ White House: Trump is on a dangerous path toward no advisers

My God, this needs to be read three times before it can be believed. EVERY TIME I think I’ve finally grasped how awful he is, something like this shows I’m not. White House: Never Mind the North Korea Meeting, Trump Was Just Babbling

So grateful that I have no memory of this whatsoever. Jeff

Even smaller minority: the number of people who can’t read this headline without thinking of Richard Dawson. White Christians are now a minority of the U.S. population, survey says

The word you are looking for is not “inconvenienced,” it’s “stranded.” This kind of reflexive downplay-the-problem, even when you’re not at fault, is why we hate you.

If you want to succeed at customer service, the first step is empathy.

Amtrak Northeast on Twitter

Thread Jeff Porten on Twitter

Sassy Little Hobbit on Twitter

Laughing harder than I probably should GaAs Ellie D. on Twitter

Rebranding as Less of a Dick’s Sporting Goods Dick’s Sporting Goods CEO says company will stop selling assault-style rifles, set under-21 ban for other guns

The pink slip is a Raffel ticket Josh Raffel Departing White House Post, Returning to Private Sector