Author Archives: Jeff Porten

Ian Schray @idschray:
Saw Skyfall today. It’s either about a British super spy or about two middle-aged women in a theater who CAN’T. STOP. TALKING.

@idschray They really are skimping on the Bond girl concept in the reboot.

Ian Schray @idschray:
@jeffporten And what’s up with the mashup with Bridesmaids?!?

Glenn Fleishman @GlennF:
@danfrakes Sigh. No government-issued ID is required to board a plane & expired ID isn’t invalid pers se.

Dan Frakes @danfrakes:
@GlennF I think they would disagree with you on that ;-)

Glenn Fleishman @GlennF:
@danfrakes In fact, the TSA says an ID is required but you can also _not_ have an ID. 1.usa.gov/ZZDRBK

Dan Frakes @danfrakes:
@GlennF The procedure for not having an ID is so onerous as to be not a reasonable option.

Glenn Fleishman @GlennF:
@danfrakes Right, but not intentionally. In many cases, I’ve heard TSA uses Google. Seriously.

@GlennF @danfrakes At Peace Bridge immigration last week, agent opened website and quizzed me about my fraternity to check my travel reason.

Dan Frakes @danfrakes:
That thing where you don’t realize your driver’s license has expired until the TSA agent almost doesn’t let you on your plane.

Glenn Fleishman @GlennF:
@danfrakes Sigh. No government-issued ID is required to board a plane & expired ID isn’t invalid pers se.

Dan Frakes @danfrakes:
@GlennF I think they would disagree with you on that ;-)

Glenn Fleishman @GlennF:
@danfrakes In fact, the TSA says an ID is required but you can also _not_ have an ID. 1.usa.gov/ZZDRBK

@GlennF @danfrakes However, the requirement that you leave behind a testicle argues in favor of direct flights.

“@aimlessny: Thought I had @mkramer sighting in Cornell’s Collegetown, but realized it couldn’t be, as she was” c. not mocking Cornell

Melody Kramer @mkramer:
@jeffporten @aimlessny far above Cayugas waters there’s an awful smell. Some say its Cayugas waters. We say its Cornell.

@mkramer @aimlessny Only place I’ve ever been where going to call and coming back was uphill both ways.

Serenity Caldwell @settern:
@BodyofBreen My parents’ home has a lovely signal of 2dB. Thanks, 1900s-era chicken wire construction!

Glenn Fleishman @GlennF:
@settern @BodyofBreen What did they know then that made them make Faraday cages everywhere? Some deep terrible secret.

@GlennF @settern @bodyofbreen Protection from the railroad mind control lasers.

Glenn Fleishman @GlennF:
I once got a fortune cookie message that read, “Everything you do is completely appropriate.” Has guided my life since.

@GlennF Wait. Does that mean you’re perfect, or that the world redefines itself around your actions?

Glenn Fleishman @GlennF:
@jeffporten What’s the difference?

@GlennF If all of space and time is about to warp to make short Jewish balding geeky writers the pinnacle of society, I could use a heads-up

“@BoingBoing: 3 astronauts return to earth, touching down in chilly Kazakhstan dlvr.it/2VxWM6” // compared to space, Kazak is balmy

Jamie Kilstein @jamiekilstein:
If I say I hate war crimes and you say I hate Jews the Jewish part if me Is sad you think those are synonymous. #GazaUnderAttack

@jamiekilstein Yeah. It’s not that I *liked* the “5,000 years of victimhood” meme, but it’s better than “sociopathic can of whoop-ass.”

Andrew Laurence @atlauren:
Parents: We all know that spanking is passé, but what about bludgeoning? Is bludgeoning OK?

Asking for a friend.

@atlauren Waterboarding is the new time-out.

Melody Kramer @mkramer:
“The US Census used to be full of people like you.” — @harrisonhaas, on finding out I’ve lived within a block of my birthplace for 5~ yrs.

@mkramer FWIW, for a while Philadelphia had the highest percentage retention of natives of any major US city. Dunno if still true.

Amanda C. Becker @acbeckr:
@jeffporten @mkramer I worked with a guy in Philly who had never left the city except to vacation on the Jersey shore. Blew. my. mind.

@acbeckr @mkramer Not uncommon among my parents’ generation. W/exception of Las Vegas & Miami, my dad only left region twice.

Melody Kramer @mkramer:
@jeffporten @acbeckr My extended family almost never leaves.

Melody Kramer @mkramer:
I WILL NEVER LEAVE THE CITY OF MY BIRTH, she screamed, tentatively.

@mkramer You can get a Philadelphian out of the city, but you can never get the fried onions and food trucks out of the Philadelphian.

Glenn Fleishman @GlennF:
I broke @gruber‘s Talk Show by talking and talking and taking. muleradio.net/thetalkshow/24/ Thanks for having me, John!

Lex Friedman @lexfri:
@GlennF @gruber It’s a great episode of a great show. I mean, so far. I’ve been listening for a couple hours; about halfway through.

Glenn Fleishman @GlennF:
@lexfri @gruber Listen to the end where I describe precisely how I plan to cut your body into pieces and hide them.

@GlennF, @lexfri lives in New Jersey. Cutting someone into pieces and hiding them is a standard informal greeting between acquaintances.

Andrew Laurence @atlauren:
Are there pictures anywhere of the mythical Apple Network Server “pizza box”? // @chuckgoolsbee

@atlauren @chuckgoolsbee If it’s a Mac LC III, be sure to get the 10 megabit Ethernet dongle.

chuck goolsbee @chuckgoolsbee:
@jeffporten @atlauren no. Much bigger than an LC!

chuck goolsbee @chuckgoolsbee:
@jeffporten @atlauren search applefritter.com that site was hosted on a Prototype ANS running a custom PPC Linux for years.

Jesse Spector @jessespector:
If Florida State shoots 62% from the field all season, they’re going to win a lot of games. #analysis

@jessespector But it’s Florida, so after the recount it’ll only be 47%.

Jesse Spector @jessespector:
@jeffporten Even so, BYU is shooting 34%, so this game still wouldn’t be that close.

@jessespector Sorry, I don’t understand that last tweet. Give me a few minutes to look up the terms on Nate Silver.

Jesse Spector @jessespector:
@jeffporten It’s just basketball. Florida State is making a lot of shots. BYU is not.

@jessespector I assume a BYU is a British Yermal Unit. (Note: no, I’m not quite THAT dense.)

Sharon Zardetto @SharonZardetto:
Younger (but adult) son, tasked with picking a Mac laptop for department, called for advice. Wonder if he said “Wait, I’ll call my Mom”

@SharonZardetto I called my parents about antibacterial handwashing techniques and stocking porn for stag parties. Have interesting family.

Andy Ihnatko @Ihnatko:
Every time I use Passbook in Starbucks, I feel like the clerk is giving me a free hot chocolate for showing him my cool phone.

Peter Cohen @flargh:
@Ihnatko Every time I whip out the “mini” ATM card on my keychain that BofA sent me, the cashiers act with wonder and amazement.

@flargh @ihnatko Every time that I pay in cash, I marvel that I could leave three goats and a doubloon at home.

“@mental_floss: A tortoise from Alamogordo, N.M., that was missing for 10 days was found 50 miles away. // hid in a fridge from nuke blast

The story is not the custom bike charger. The story is that a good game will kill your high-end Android phone. livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entry/hardcore…