Author Archives: Jeff Porten

  • Jeff Carlson:
    What the hell? Sounds like he took the image and then thought of anything to write to accompany it.
  • Tom Negrino:
    I note that jerky freelancing article never once mentions paying the whole cost of buying health insurance.
  • Jeff Carlson:
    In the comments someone asks, and he pays $200/mo due to the state he’s in. Fucker.
  • Scholle McFarland:
    That article is purely about showing his butt. I mused about how much traffic we’d get on MW with similar techniques.
  • Tom Negrino:
    As a freelancer, I feel it’s in my best interest to decline to speculate which MW editor’s butt would be apropos.

I’m just speculating here, but I assume the 80-hr workout routine allows ‘s butt to crack walnuts.

In honor of the segue from butt jokes to trees, I rename Tu B’Shevat to Tushie B’vat.

  • Robert Guerra:
    Am one person short of having 5000 followers on twitter. Wow! Many thanks everyone for following me!

I *do* have multiple accounts. Let me know if you want the bump to the round number. :-)

Weird bug: shift-?-I to send link from Safari opens a plain text email with link, but leading set to about 0.8. shift-?-T twice to fix.

  • Melody Kramer:
    Okay. I formally announce that I am going to run to be a Board of Trustees member at the University of -sylvania. I need a Super PAC.

Do alums actually vote on this?

Lazytweet: how do I add an Instapaper Read Later bookmarklet to a Fluid app? Preferably with keystroke.

  • Al Yankovic:
    Whoa. Just found out about the “Citizen Kane” curse. Turns out virtually everyone involved with that movie is now DEAD.

  • Josh Centers:
    Thanks to , whenever I send someone personal info, I can’t help but add (Don’t be creepy).

I’m 43 and single. I feel like “don’t be creepy” is a flashing neon sign over half the things I do and say.

  • Josh Centers:
    That’s a common problem. I’d get a shirt that says,” Totally not a perv.”

That T-shirt would be a self-unfulfilling prophecy on more levels than I care to count.

  • Josh Centers:
    OK, what if we add this to the back: “Unless that’s your thing. ;-)”

Just reading that tweet increased my odds of permanent celibacy by 8.4%.

Why, what have I been missing?

  • Jeff Carlson:
    Nudity! With Glass. Which was Josh’s idea in the first place.

It figures that the first nude picture to land on my laptop in years is of a guy. Thanks loads, Carlson.

  • Josh Centers:
    I’ll wear a shirt in case of video meetings. I’ll just have to remember not to stand up.

  • Melody Kramer:
    Does anyone know a kick ass digital archivist and/or community groups containing kick ass digital archivists?

I know someone who does. Email me the details of what you need.

  • Andrew Laurence:
    Why the fuck do I have “Adobe Flash Player Install Manager.app” in /Applications/Utilities?

Uninstall instructions: 1) Secure erase hard drive. 2) Disconnect from Internet forever.

  • Melody Kramer:
    People have asked me recently what my dream job would be. It would be to be or Erma Bombeck. I don’t think this exists.

pretty sure nearly all humorists don’t get columns til 30s or 40s, after period of regular writing. You’re probably on track.

  • Melody Kramer:
    I have been retweeted by Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I have won Twitter; there is no reason to continue on this medium.
  • Andrew Becker:
    I once got a RT from . At that moment I knew what it was to “feel like we do.” Enjoy this time.

I was quoted on the Vatican’s website. Was surprised neither it nor I burst into flames.

  • Melody Kramer:
    I’m fairly certain that if Twitter existed when I was in college, I would not have organized mock protests all of the time.

I would have paid money to see your protest of Cereality.

  • Melody Kramer:
    I’ve never been asked to speak at a “Future of Cereal” conference. And yet, that is where my heart truly lies.

You’re eating Kix. I think that means you’re solidly in the Leave It To Beaver cereal stage.