There’s been buzz about the “new” Trump-can-text-everyone thing, but so far it’s not big news that: 1) this thing is getting tested in two weeks; 2) it sets off the phone ring equivalent of an air horn; most importantly 3) IT’S GOING TO DO IT TO EVERYONE’S PHONE SIMULTANEOUSLY.

Put simply, I suspect most people will freak the fuck out just from the coordinated alert, let alone that it’s supposed to sound like an air raid. Freaking people the fuck out is, in fact, the point of the system. But given the number of people driving on highways, walking in dense crowds, or carrying firearms at the time of the alert, I’m not going to be too surprised if FEMA causes an emergency this time around. How to Avoid an ‘Unblockable’ Presidential Alert