Since I’ve started a mini-trend of posting what depression is like, I’ll add this one. I’ve never been suicidal, but as I’ve sometimes phrased it, I can see it in the distance from where I’ve been standing. Another analogy: there’s a (so far) sturdy fence between here and there, which I sometimes rest on to test its strength, and sometimes because I need it to hold myself up.

One argument with this story: there is nothing whatsoever temporary about chronic depression. Yes, you might feel better tomorrow, or next week, but that will also be temporary; the cycle, without effective meds, is permanent. (In my case, because every med I’ve ever used just stops working eventually.) You can look at it entirely rationally and note whether the cycle is stable, improving, or deepening.

It’s been a long time since I’ve rested on the fence. But I’m still in the cycle, and I have little doubt I’ll do so again.

Please Stop Calling Suicide Victims “Selfish” or “Weak”