Spit-take funny Onion article.

Dick Cheney Vice Presidential Library Opens In Pitch-Dark, Sulfurous Underground Cave

[T]he subterranean library will include more than 2.7 million photographs, thousands of razor-sharp stalactites, 4 million documents offering a legal basis for torture, scalding-hot green smoke wafting out of the cave walls, an original manuscript of the Patriot Act, hundreds of sick and hungry cave bears, and 15,000 audio recordings from Cheney’s private meetings.