Jeff’s annotated states

Picking up on a meme from Brian, where Jeff has been, domestic version:

Mainly I’m doing this because I so rarely get to use the skill I picked up at 9 years old, memorizing the states in alphabetical order:

Arizona: business trip to Phoenix consulting for an ISP. I still have their T-shirt, which says “Think Globally, Hack Locally” on the back. I remain amazed by the concept of water misters at outdoor restaurants, and by my client’s warning that during the half mile hike from my hotel to his office, I’d need to stop for bottled water twice. He was right.

California: For some reason, I have been to Disneyland twice as often lifetime as I’ve been to Disney World. No, I can’t explain it either.

Colorado: I am informed that, in 1970, at the age of 1, I roadtripped to Denver. I can probably infer that several states between Indiana and Colorado should be filled in thusly, unless our Chrysler had long-distance high-jump technology. But as I feel I’m stretching to include Colorado in the first place, I’ll leave this stet.

Connecticut: Visiting friends and Weird Al. It was that kind of trip.

Delaware: Home of cousins, fraternal little brothers, and frequent tax-free shopping. I recommend the Chinese buffet.

District of Columbia: my adopted hometown. Brian has been there too. I’ve seen him there.

Florida: I’m Jewish. Of course we drove to Miami Beach regularly.

Georgia: Several student conferences. I distinctly remember hanging up my towel to dry, and at the end of the day, it was damper than when it started. I can’t believe anyone ever lived here before the invention of air conditioning. When Sherman burned Atlanta, you sure couldn’t tell the difference on the basis of ambient heat.

Illinois: Two trips to Chicago, plus numerous opportunities for quality time at O’Hare.

Indiana: ex-girlfriend at Earlham. Cf. Ohio.

Maine: Various trips to hazardous biofacilities as a child. (Why adults think children will be excited about seeing sharks, I’ll never know. I remember thinking, “no thank you, I like all of my fingers equally.”) Most recent excursion was for Steve and Courtney weddingpalooza with Brian.

Maryland: one of two adopted home states.

Massachusetts: various conferences and friends in Boston, which is a city that shares this with Canada: I could see myself living there if it weren’t so frickin’ cold.

Minnesota: I don’t think this counts, but numerous Northwest airlines stopovers. Need to get back sometime. Minneapolis, Ann Arbor, and Madison are three places where I say to myself, “wait, I’ve never actually been there? But I’ve planned on going so many times!”

Nevada: Yeesh, like you couldn’t guess this already.

New Hampshire: Where we went Wal-Mart shopping while in Vermont.

New Jersey: adopted state #2. I’m known to spend far too much time in Atlantic City.

New York: I recall stopping off in Buffalo once on the way to Toronto. Otherwise, not much memorable about this state. You can safely give it a miss.

North Carolina: aside from drive-throughs, I attended a wedding here once just past the Virginia border. Ranks equally with my attendance at the Billy Graham Crusade for Jeff thinking, “these people are not like me.”

Ohio: aside from a memorable and ill-considered trip to Cleveland, responsible for the transmutation of another girlfriend to “ex” status, I once walked to Dayton airport from the middle of I-70 after a consultation with my bus driver proved that I would not otherwise make my plane. Have you seen North by Northwest? It was like that, but without the plane shooting at me.

Pennsylvania: my home state. Roadtrip from Philadelphia to Pittsburgh sometime if you want a true appreciation of how frickin’ large the western states are.

Rhode Island: home of Brown University, where the Store 24 is closed from 11 PM until 7 AM. No, I couldn’t figure it out either.

South Carolina: home of South of the Border and all the priapic plastic crap you could ever want.

Tennessee: roadtrip to Vanderbilt, which means that I think Kentucky should also be included in the marked states, but I can’t remember if that’s where we were faced with the prospect of a grit breakfast. Most memorable moment: the Vanderbilt scoreboard said we were the “Penn State Quakers”. Second most memorable moment: a friend and I, neither of us who would expect such an honor, scored the lowest purity test scores on the Band bus.

Texas: another cheat, as I got stranded in an airport for an hour on the way to Vegas. I can’t say this counts, but I also can’t say that I feel like I’ve missed much.

Vermont: Jeff’s opportunity to warp young minds at a peace camp. Also where I learned three chords on a guitar on another roadtrip.

Virginia: a briefly adopted home state, but not in the places where cigarettes are cheaper.

Washington: An evening layover in Seattle during Jeff’s “Every Time Zone Except the Maritimes” trip. DC-St. Louis-Seattle-Vancouver BC-Calgary. Hmmm, I guess Missouri is also on the states I don’t count.

West Virginia: Harpers Ferry weekend. Will probably head back, now that they have poker.

2 thoughts on “Jeff’s annotated states

  1. District of Columbia: my adopted hometown. Brian has been there too. I’ve seen him there.

    The post was called Visited States, although the tool at does include DC as a choice. I didn’t list it separately, but I mentioned it as part of my Virginia writeup.

    Nonetheless, Jeff has caught me hiding my DC visitation status. Another Washington, DC cover-up? Just one more on the pile, I guess…

    New York: I recall stopping off in Buffalo once on the way to Toronto. Otherwise, not much memorable about this state. You can safely give it a miss.

    Ahem…. Jeff is either being sarcastic and I’m missing it, or he has momentarily forgotten that New York City is in New York State. To paraphrase a friend, Jeff has been to Times Square too. I’ve seen him there… ;-)

  2. Yes, skipping NYC was meant for humorous effect. I’ve also had memorable occasions in Schenectady, Ithaca, Poughkeepsie, and Binghampton. (Okay, so maybe Binghampton is stretching the definition of the word “memorable”.)

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