Essential life skills test, question #497

You are replacing a bulb in a standing halogen floor lamp that you’ve had since forever. You purchase a replacement bulb and find that it is several millimeters too long for the fixture; the original bulb broke coming out and cannot be used for comparison. Not only is there no manual for the lamp, but there’s not even a manufacturer’s name. It’s after midnight, you just woke up a friend to borrow his Phillips screwdriver, and you want to get this done now.

Do you:

  1. Research the Internet for an hour to determine the standard lengths in common use for halogen fixtures;
    • find that the two possible lengths are 118 mm and 78 mm;
    • double-check the Imperial length of 40 mm, just to be sure;
    • resolve that there’s no way this lamp needs a 78 mm, that’s too short;
    • scour the lamp for identifying marks;
    • find the Underwriters Laboratories sticker;
    • search the Internet to see if there’s a public database of UL registrations;
    • having found one, plug in every number off the sticker until you find the right one;
    • trace the registration to a company in Kowloon, Hong Kong;
    • search the Internet for that company;
    • find their American offices in Miami;
    • click every link on the site looking for a PDF manual;
    • and not finding one, write down their 800 number to call in the morning.

  2. Press lightly down on the contact point for the bulb and find that there’s plenty of give, allowing you to install the bulb in five seconds.
     
  3. Do 1 first, then 2, then feel like biggest schmuck in history.

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