• Lex Friedman:
  Unprofessional t-shirts. On sale for just two weeks. Get ‘em while they’re hot: http://unprofesh.com/shirts/ 

• Dan Moren:
  @lexfri Presumably all previous guests get complimentary shirts, right?

• Lex Friedman:
  @dmoren Sure! Shipping is $24.

• Mike Erickson:
  @lexfri @dmoren you’ve seen too many infomercials

@codedungeon @lexfri @dmoren Only if he can pay in six installments, and gets Unprofesh underwear (a $12 value) if he orders now.

• Mike Erickson:
  @jeffporten @lexfri @dmoren act fast, quantities are limited

• Glenn Fleishman:
  Make a list containing Bertrand Russell.

@GlennF People I’m two degrees of: Bertrand Russell, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Kevin Bacon.

• Jenny Johnson:
  If you’re carrying around a bag of your dog’s shit, the dog won.

“@JennyJohnsonHi5: If you’re carrying around a bag of your dog’s shit, the dog won.” // Cats get you to dedicate a room to catshit FTW.

• Glenn Fleishman:
  Think Locutusally, act Borgaly.

@GlennF Recycling is futile, but do it anyway.

• Sharon Hill:
  How come these bozos don’t get sued for libel? @CatholicLeague: Of course Obama loves Planned Parenthood. He supports infanticide…

@IDoubtIt I can’t imagine who would have standing, who also wouldn’t want the media firestorm that would result.

• Josh Centers:
  @tiffanyarment @marcoarment Do you guys have any diaper recommendations? My wife’s driving me crazy with the options.

• Glenn Fleishman:
  @jcenters @tiffanyarment @marcoarment We went with Huggies. Or do you mean cloth or plastic?

• Josh Centers:
  @GlennF Thanks Glenn. Honestly, I have no idea. I mentioned cloth, now she’s proposing this proprietary G-Diaper system. I’m so confused.

@jcenters @glennf I’m waiting for surgical colon bypass closure before I reproduce.

• Josh Centers:
  @jeffporten @GlennF I’m considering sitting the tyke down on a training toilet from birth until he figures it out. Like I do with my cats.

• Jeff Carlson:
  @jcenters @jeffporten @GlennF I know someone who basically did that. Rushed kid to toilet each time. It’s a thing. It’s also madness IMHO.

• Glenn Fleishman:
  @jeffcarlson @jcenters @jeffporten Split-crotch diapers.

• Josh Centers:
  @GlennF @jeffcarlson @jeffporten Zipper diapers. Let ‘er rip!

• Glenn Fleishman:
  @jcenters @jeffcarlson @jeffporten I had a free-range friend, too. I never visited her house. Oy.

• Glenn Fleishman:
  @jeffcarlson @jcenters @jeffporten I thought it was because you were comforting her.

• Jeff Carlson:
  @GlennF @jcenters @jeffporten (She needed to be elevated for ~30min to help digestion after a feeding for a while.)

• Morgen Jahnke:
  @jeffcarlson @glennf @jcenters @jeffporten How do you guys remember all this stuff? Everything from the first year is kind of a blur for me.

• Andrew Laurence:
  @spectatrix @jeffcarlson @glennf @jcenters @jeffporten the failing is theirs: insufficient drinking.

• Morgen Jahnke:
  @atlauren @jeffcarlson @glennf @jcenters @jeffporten Well, I did have better access to champagne and absinthe at the time.

@spectatrix @atlauren @jeffcarlson @glennf @jcenters That’s it, I’m not spawning. 1000’s of my descendants will never exist because of you.

• Jeff Carlson:
  @GlennF What if you’re writing a review of to do apps?

• Glenn Fleishman:
  @jeffcarlson Or Things!

• Jeff Carlson:
  @GlennF Why hasn’t Apple released an app called Stuff? Next logical step.

• Glenn Fleishman:
  ~@jeffcarlson Things To Do: Stuff.

• Jeff Carlson:
  @GlennF Or do not. There is no Unstuff.

@jeffcarlson @glennf What is the sound of unstuff clapping?

If I don’t qualify as a Companion, maybe I can be the librarian. Or maintenance of the TARDIS Jeffries tubes, I’d probably have a knack.

• Robert Lefkowitz:
  @jeffporten The TARDIS doesn’t have a smoking section.

@Roblefko1 Man’s got a sun going nova in his basement. Not only is that a smoking section, he’ll give me a light.

• Marco Tabini:
  So Vine adding support for the front camera is news. Well, then.

@mtabini The beast must be fed.

• XXXXXREDACTEDXXXXX:
  If I were an ice cream flavor, I’d probably be Coffee Resentment/Whiskey Anger Swirl.

Quote from my housekeeper: “You’re sleeping too much. Go play in the casino.” Bally’s, give that woman a raise.

If reincarnation is real and we get another chance, in my next life I want to take a double-major with “Opening Shrinkwrapped Gizmos”.

• Melody Kramer:
  I just received an email that is making me smile from 11th Street to 10th Street.

• Ben:
  @mkramer 10th to 9th is traditionally for moping.

• Melody Kramer:
  @titlecharacter I know. I basically turn into Charlie Brown on that block.

@mkramer @titlecharacter That makes Camden into Lucy with a football.

• Lex Friedman:
  A great iPhone ad would show how fun Ridiculous Fishing is while you’re on the can.

“@lexfri: A great iPhone ad would show how fun Ridiculous Fishing is while you’re on the can.” // #ThingsThatShouldBeAEuphemismButArent

• Kelly Guimont:
  Mr K: I need the sprocket cover. Moi: There is no cover at Sprockets only dancing! (Dieter voice)Mr K: (audible eyeroll)#nothelping #fb

@verso He will simply have to loosen the bolts with the sheer force of his ennui.

• Sharon Hill:
  You may laugh but now that my desk faces the stairs, I feel better. Hate the idea of people sneaking up on me.

@IDoubtIt Now you’re reminding me of the booby-trapped staircase on The Walking Dead.

• Jacqui Cheng:
  Using an iPhone with shattered front glass is very unpleasant. I don’t know how so many people tolerate this.

@ejacqui It causes me physical pain every time I see one.

• Melody Kramer:
  My 5-year-rollover-versy is next month. How should I celebrate? Lots have happened in the past five years. Want to mark life, living, etc.

@mkramer It’s obvious for you: a 5th birthday party, with games & decorations to match.

• Dan Moren:
  Kicking off my birthday the traditional way: tea and cartoons. http://cl.ly/ObCE/image.jpg 

• Rene Ritchie:
  @dmoren How many parsecs old are you now? (And happy birthday!)

• Dan Moren:
  @reneritchie You’ve never heard of the Dan Moren? Where’ve you been? He’s the guy that made it to 33 in less than 12 parsecs!

@dmoren @reneritchie and of course, Dan shot first in the fight with Breeno. @BodyofBreen

• The OED:
  OED Word of the Day: akathisia, n. http://oxford.ly/11tOqMj 

“@OED: OED Word of the Day: akathisia, n. http://oxford.ly/11tOqMj ” // Antonym: akathatia.