Quote from my housekeeper: “You’re sleeping too much. Go play in the casino.” Bally’s, give that woman a raise.

Heard from an old friend today that I had a massive positive impact early on after we met, about which I was completely unaware. I think the word “inspirational” might actually have been used. This will have me grinning like a madman for a week solid.

If reincarnation is real and we get another chance, in my next life I want to take a double-major with “Opening Shrinkwrapped Gizmos”.

Just needed a picture of myself in business wear for a networking site, and the only thing I could find on short notice was a picture Seth Goren took in 1995.

Made me realize that this would be highly unethical behavior on a *dating* site, and I don’t know what the jury would say about other usage. Interesting train of thought.

“@doctorow: Poesy, upon farting: “It was Daddy. You can tell cos it smells like coffee.”” // Apparently, I still don’t drink enough coffee.

Tonight’s forecast: several hours of sleeping under a low ceiling, with a high probability of headbonking in the morning.

New casino policy post-Boston: no backpacks. Strictly enforced after only seven hours of walking around the casino with a backpack.

Just finished a major overhaul of the posts on jeffporten.com, reintegrating the Twitter feed and fixing bugs in a new database. Any of you who actually read my site, feel free to let me know what you think.

“@realDonaldTrump: Should be public execution for all to see-you will end this bullshit fast!” // best way to deter a guy in a suicide vest

“@ljmabouttown: THIS. “This week is so bad that an Elvis-impersonating conspiracy theorist sent poison to Obama and THAT’S LIKE THE TENTH BIGGEST STORY.””

“@bruce_arthur: Finally, someone says it MT @JenMaiser: OMG NBC news live. BrianWilliams threw it to reporter didn’t know he was on: “we don’t know shit””

Considering I’m posting about Boston on a site named “Conspiracy Theories”, I’ll be curious to see what traffic I get this weekend.

“@BuzzFeed: RT @BostonGlobe: FBI: bombing suspect may be Honda Civic” // CANCELLED. Please retract retweet so no one is shot. @davewiner

…and things just got even more weird and complicated. RT @AP: BREAKING: AP sources: Boston bomb suspects from Russia region near Chechnya, lived in US at least 1 year.