“Poor preteens” is roughly homophonous with “Puerto Ricans,” continuing 2017 conversion of the merely apathetic into actively sociopathic. Jason Sparks on Twitter

More emoji conclusions: 1) Apple designers are foodies; 2) Google Friday beer bash may actually be urine samples. Thomas Fuchs on Twitter

I think we need to discuss how Apple’s burger is bigger, but has Canadian bacon tomato and a bun comprised of 20% of Iowa annual production. Thomas Baekdal on Twitter

Nifty. If you don’t see me here as often, I’m probably spending 60 hours a week playing poker in my pajamas. Again. Pennsylvania Passes iGaming Bill to Legalize Online Poker, DFS

90% of my problems with the touch bar would be solved if Apple had a setting, “don’t register a tap until a button is pressed for 0.25 or 0.5 seconds.” Apple likes the MacBook Pro Touch Bar, but here’s why I really don’t

Note to self: become a journeyman lineman contract supervisor.

“Under the contract, Whitefish is charging $330 an hour for a site supervisor and $227.88 an hour for a “journeyman lineman.” The cost for subcontractors, which make up the bulk of Whitefish’s workforce, is $462 per hour for a supervisor and $319.04 for a lineman.” Puerto Rico’s electric utility likely to get emergency manager amid criticism over contract to small Montana firm

For years, I’ve had this odd mental block where I can’t remember the date my father died. I thought it might be today, was pretty sure that if it wasn’t, it was sometime this weekend, and it was only from looking up the link below that I learned it’s tomorrow.

In any case, it’s been ten years. So any of you that knew him, I think he would have liked being remembered ten years on. Hell, I know he would have.

Aside: once I get over being weepy writing this, I’ll be fine. The point of this is to remind you of him, not to inspire 100 hugs comments (which I think will just make me weepy again). If you can remember a story, go for it.

His eulogy, still true:

David Porten, 1932-2007 | The Vast Jeff Wing Conspiracy

Inexplicably not mentioned: in order to do this, they will have to disturb ALL THE MUMMIES. As Abbott and Costello taught us, that never ends well. Penn Museum is getting its biggest makeover in 118 years

This has been driving me apeshit for two weeks and you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me that this is what’s causing it. Bizarre. Android phone unknown notification sound (solved)

?I felt a great disturbance, as if a million @Penn alumni, faculty, and students cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.? David Mack on Twitter

Saving you a click: following up on experiments where liberals expressed more conservative beliefs after they thought about their own mortality, conservatives express more liberal beliefs when they literally picture themselves as Superman.

What the article doesn’t say is what I think is most interesting: what can we infer from this about how conservatives and liberals view themselves ALL THE TIME? It’s not like these belief systems are genetic implants. Strange Thought Experiment (Briefly) Turns Conservatives Into Liberals

I can’t tell you how much I adore that they cited Penn as the source of this article. New Study Finds You’d Love Being Rich Asshole

When this is published in Foreign Policy, it’s time to take notice: “The Disruptors would accept violence as part of the equation. I don’t foresee set-piece battles between great armies, but I think they understand the strategy would involve persistent conflict that kills hundreds or even thousands on the way to achieving its aims. If they can get away with it with minimal bloodshed, great; if not, “so be it.”” Some thoughts on how we might get from where we’re at now to a Second Civil War

Attention Pennfolk near Philly with flexible Monday schedules: Richard Branson speaking at Zellerbach on Monday afternoon, alumni can register. Free admission, but registration is required and seating is first come, first served. Authors@Wharton: Sir Richard Branson | McNulty Leadership Program