Author Archives: Jeff Porten

Dude, I don’t want to hear that shit unless I’m in the middle of my Triumph and all of Rome is chanting my name.

Catholic News Agency on Twitter

99 times out of 100, any such mutation can be explained by “fuck me now” or “don’t eat me.” Are These Strange Orange Crocodiles Evolving Into A New Species?

Note to self for a future road trip. No relation, but it would be neat.

http://ift.tt/2DUgUgl ferme porten manderen château de malbrouck foie gras

Note to self for a future road trip. No relation, but it would be neat.

http://ift.tt/2DUgUgl ferme porten manderen château de malbrouck foie gras

The moral of the story, as per usual, is that the best thing about smoking is that you can then do whatever else the fuck you want Coffee with cream, sugar and a cancer warning?

John Scalzi called this nearly 20 years ago when a character said “hey, asshole” to activate his BrainPal. Soon You Won’t Have to Say ‘Hey Google’ to Launch Google Assistant

Interesting story on Joe Frank, a radio… let’s call him “performer,” who died last week. The End Is the Beginning

Somehow I missed this when it was published. Confident Philadelphia Officials Preemptively Raze Center City To Make Room For Amazon Headquarters

Philadelphia Inquirer recommending football fans avoid “spicy foods, tomato-based products, greasy or fried foods, dairy, coffee and chocolate,” thereby proving why this city will spend most of the 21st century without a local newspaper. Philly.com on Twitter