Author Archives: Jeff Porten

Playing Letterpress with @mcelhearn, and as expected, he’s attacking me like an airborne virus on aerosolized crystal meth.

Jeff Carlson @jeffcarlson:
Humans, sometimes you really fucking suck. read.bi/V1ujSN

@jeffcarlson But less and less often. We just live in an era when we hear about it more.

Jeff Carlson @jeffcarlson:
@jeffporten Dude, that genuinely helped. Thanks.

@jeffcarlson My pleasure. IMO, the Xmas miracle is that humans are *so good* at combatting “nasty, brutish, and short.”

@jeffcarlson Compared to most of our species historically, most of us live in paradise. We just need to keep expanding that boundary.

Melody Kramer @mkramer:
#2012accomplishments hung blinds. Built desk. Painted. Fixed drains. Schlepped. Lifted boxes. Hammered. Nailed. Screwed.

@mkramer became roughly 1/8th of a doctor!

Melody Kramer @mkramer:
@jeffporten 1/10th

@mkramer The difficulty is front-loaded, so I rounded up.

Amanda C. Becker @acbeckr:
So how long are we all allowed to keep our Santa-themed profile shots up before it transcends into tacky? March? Just wondering.

@acbeckr I think I added my Amnesty badge 16 months ago for their anniversary, so really, no hurry.

Amanda C. Becker @acbeckr:
@jeffporten I like it!

Melody Kramer @mkramer:
#2012accomplishments wound up on huffington post twice for jokes. Next time, it’ll be credited, right?

@mkramer by 2024, you might even be paid.

John Scalzi @scalzi:
From all of us, Merry Christmas. And when I say “all of us,” I mean THE VOICES IN MY HEAD

@scalzi They will go away if you use Old Man War technology to give them their own bodies. Merry Christmas!

Finally succumbed to Letterpress. Warming up on random opponents before I allow my Rain Man editors to kick my ass repeatedly.

Kirk McElhearn @mcelhearn:
@jeffporten You won’t regret it! Great game.

@mcelhearn I need more ways to not work like I need a hole in my head.

Kirk McElhearn @mcelhearn:
@jeffporten There’s that, but I find it stimulating to work on my word memory.

@mcelhearn I expect to find it dispiriting when all of you start handing me my ass, nicely gift-wrapped.

Glenn Fleishman @GlennF:
Ben: “Your sock’s untied.” He says this became a funny thing that people said in his class last year.

@GlennF has he seen @adamengst‘s shoes?

Glenn Fleishman @GlennF:
Eight-track tapes, however, are dead for good, do you hear me hipsters?

@GlennF Actually, I was always fond of the serendipitous randomness of 8-track fast forward.

“@io9: new Star Trek Into Darkness photos include Cumberbatch in bondage! on.io9.com/gZsuSV9”// Sherlock/Watson BDSM fanfic just spiked

Peter Cohen @flargh:
@jeffporten *snort*

Rene Ritchie @reneritchie:
@Lessien He should have known about Talia and set her up to get close to the trigger. Nolan forgot the “Detective” part at the end.

Lessien @Lessien:
@reneritchie Sorry but don’t follow. Disclaimer: I am not a comic book person.

Rene Ritchie @reneritchie:
@Lessien He was surprised Natalia was Ras’ daughter. He should have figured that out and played her.

Lessien @Lessien:
@reneritchie Bane? I thought the whole point was that he loved her. “Playing her” wouldn’t work if that were true.

Rene Ritchie @reneritchie:
@Lessien Sorry, Batman should have known Natalia was Ras’ daughter and not been surprised by it.

@reneritchie @lessien Hell, I knew the story from the comics and was still surprised.

Glenn Fleishman @GlennF:
Struck me today that my editor job at @TheMagazineApp is exactly as if it were in print. I’m abstracted from the physical layer.

@GlennF @themagazineapp You make it sound like Marco has anointed you bodhisattva.

Glenn Fleishman @GlennF:
Not sure that Obama promoting a photo of a boy seemingly kissing an unwilling girl in bleachers behind him is appropriate.

Lex Friedman @lexfri:
@GlennF You think too much.

Glenn Fleishman @GlennF:
@lexfri I will wait til you confront same situation.

Jeff Carlson @jeffcarlson:
@GlennF @lexfri You’re also assuming that the girl was unwilling. I agree with Lex: you’re over thinking it.

@jeffcarlson @glennf @lexfri need firsthand evidence. Where is said picture?

Tom Negrino @negrino:
Perhaps the most dumbass thing seen on a newspaper site: “Pop Culture Quiz: Test your knowledge of tweets from stars like Britney Spears.”

@negrino I am already presumptively proud of my 0% score.

Tom Negrino @negrino:
@jeffporten You and me both, pal.

Rob Pegoraro @robpegoraro:
On @usatodaytech, a checklist if you get asked to give anybody’s computer a checkup over the holidays: usatoday.com/story/tech/col…

@robpegoraro 1. “No.” 2. “Would you ask my cousin the doctor for a checkup?” 3. “Pass the Doritos.”

Glenn Fleishman @GlennF:
I’m too beautiful to be hired, according to the Iowa Supreme Court.

Kathryn @Kathryn_L_P:
@GlennF oh, you can be hired. you just can’t stay hired

@Kathryn_L_P @glennf I’m investing in the Iowa Sackcloth Manufactory.

Kathryn @Kathryn_L_P:
@jeffporten @GlennF for women to wear to work? sounds itchy, prefer to take my chances with polyester

@Kathryn_L_P @glennf but if the goal is subjugating women as second-class, sackcloth is sorta traditional.

Kathryn @Kathryn_L_P:
@jeffporten @GlennF This is not abt her attractiveness. Is abt his perception of OWN. Claims fear of “having” affair. Why can’t she say no?

Glenn Fleishman @GlennF:
@Kathryn_L_P @jeffporten Saw an interview, too. She was freaked out that the guy she worked for for years was harboring this.