Storm

Watch. Something is happening. It is only the second something that has ever happened.

For four hundred million years, the universe has been a blindingly bright soup of atoms, hot and dense, apparently a picture of near-perfect uniformity. It is important that you watch, because there are no other observers. The universe contains nothing but hydrogen and helium, elements too simple to allow for the creation of complex structures, if the environment even allowed such combinations to occur. Which, until now, it has not.

But space is growing, and in some places dimming, and the first differences in the congregation of matter are beginning to appear. Here and there, a few trillion trillion particles of elementary matter start to coalesce in a gravitational whirlpool. The rules that allow for the existence of gravity are the same as those that allow the subatomic bits that form hydrogen and helium. Quarks and gravitons come popping out of a 248-dimensional mathematical manifold which hold these and all other possible matter and energy in its symmetrical lattice.

Within that design are The Rules for Everything.

Someday it will be said that it is the lattice itself that is reality, that what the creatures living within perceive as real are only the Platonic shadows cast upon the walls of the cave. But for now there is no one to say this, nor are there cave walls or shadows.

Today, a conglomeration of matter has condensed enough to create the first nuclear furnace, in the heart of an early member of the first generation of stars. Perhaps it is at 10 AM on a Tuesday. Choose a minute, an hour, a day of the week, and you will have a 10,080-1 chance of being right, for there once was a first star, and human abstractions like time may be extended back as far as we wish. Never mind that this was 712 billion Tuesdays ago.

Skip ahead 100 or so billion Tuesdays. You might as well, as there is nothing to see here but protostars, leftover gas clouds from the Big Bang, and cooling background radiation. The universe has been a boring and empty place. But now, the first star and its brethren are running out of fuel. It is poetic to surmise that the first star was the first to die, but in reality it is based more on the vagaries of how much gas was collected by each star, which in turn set the hard limits on the first nuclear reactors.

Watch. This is the third thing that ever happened, as the first dying star loses the propulsive force that kept it from collapsing in upon itself. Its mass contracts spasmodically, falling to the doom of its unitary existence. In some but not all stars, this causes a last violent burst of nuclear activity, blowing the star apart and scattering its mass—its indestructible, immortal mass—out into the cosmos.

For the first time, an oxygen molecule roams outward, with a dozen other newly released elements, moving on their parabolic trajectories into the gravitational minuet. We need not worry about the oxygen causing havoc to any iron atoms it meets, because there is still no iron, nor other heavy elements. The first stars were not sufficiently large to create them. We must wait for the cycle to repeat, perhaps several times, before those elements are introduced.

Skip ahead another three hundred billion Tuesdays. The universe has become a far more eventful place, so this particular day is not important to it, only to us. Another cloud of gas has begun to collapse inward, but it is rotating sufficiently fast to keep some of its mass in varying orbits. Over eighty percent of this orbital matter is eventually drawn to a single planet just over forty light minutes from the center of the system, leaving behind a motley collection of gases and heavier elements to form seven more planets and several hundred thousand smaller entities.

On one of these planets, a multibillion year process will eventually form mollusks and trees, built of the elements blown out of long-dead stars. One of its species, built out of these same elements, will eventually fashion such items into shrimp toast and coffee cups. It will be in vogue for that species to believe that they are the beneficiaries of a galactic omniscient intelligence, or simply fantastically lucky, that their planet was so wonderfully placed so as to allow for the existence of self-aware beings who could teach themselves to strain near-boiling water through pulverized plant embryos.

Of course, they are wrong. It is true that a small variation in the collection of gases and minerals making up the Earth would have created a vastly different playing field for evolution, with unimaginably differing results. But as one of their species noted, using as his example a “cat” made of heavier elements, it is more accurate to see their world as merely one of a nearly infinite set of possible outcomes.

Humans are not lucky to be living on their Earth; rather, all possible Earths exist simultaneously in multidimensional space, and the humans experiencing this one are not lucky; they are preordained as existing in a universe in which everything that can happen, does happen. And if it can happen once, it happens an infinite number of times through the same branching that led to their existence in the first place. Somewhere next door to the Earths covered with humans are the ones inhabited by extremophiles, who believe that 1,000 °Kelvin is a chilly day requiring warm socks.

But perhaps we can forgive humanity their conceits; a species that can mistake matter as being “real” may believe any number of strange things.

On one of those Earth worlds, an Earthmass of approximately seventy kilograms reaches out for a collection of molecules fashioned out of water, paper, wax, and trace biological products into a “coffee cup”. If you asked me, I would tell you that I chose to reach for my cup to take another sip, that I wanted to drink the coffee before it grew too cold. A neurobiologist would tell you otherwise, that the electrical impulse to reach for my cup occurs about 500 milliseconds before my conscious awareness of my desire to do so. This awareness, the “I”, appears to be a story I tell myself after the fact of my action.

Watching the movement of electrons in our brains, those elementary particles ordained in the dawn of the universe from a supersymmetrical mathematical structure, we read a message from reality that our free will may not be what we think it is. The choice to drink coffee may be as automatic as the choice to beat our hearts; it is the subsequent feeling of choice that may be the only difference. And what is it to say that we “think” it is something, without referencing our free will to begin with? We can follow that logic down into the fractal mollusk spiral, wrapping tighter and tighter curves, and discovering the unending Mandelbrot complexity in its center. Alice’s rabbit hole was never so deep.

I sip my coffee. Several billion trillion molecules of water join the self-aware mass forming “me”, carrying with them a far smaller number of caffeine molecules. Some of these in turn will enter my bloodstream and cross the blood-brain barrier, where they will goose the production of adenosine compounds, and temporarily increase the electrical activity in parts of my brain.

I experience this as a pleasant rush of sharpness, as the laws of chemistry interact with the programmatic results of the four billion years of evolution, and the five hundred years of commerce, that led to my cup of coffee on a warm spring day. Subatomic particles continue to create the web of forces within and outside of us, so unknowable that we were forced to invent concepts like “solid” and “visible” to describe their effects. Divergent realities branch off by the trillions as the universe collides into itself at nanoscopic scales, creating all that is and the tiny fraction of it that remains ours.

The subatomic dance creates, for now, both the environment and the “us” that observes it. Each of us experiences our own center of this chaos, taking in its macroscopic scale and believing ourselves to be, at heart, the reason for it. The violence of physics and unimaginable spans of time have combined to result in humanity, the I of the storm.

Jeff’s podcast mix: how to waste a lot of time with your iPod

Here’s a feature I want in the next version of iTunes: a pop-up window that appears every time I subscribe to a podcast which asks, “Are you insane?”

That would be easier to program than what I really want: an information window that adds up all the podcasts you subscribe to and totals the number of hours per week entering the in-basket.

Since that feature doesn’t exist yet, and since I always seem to be running way behind the incoming podcast total, I sat down and figured out how much I’ve subscribed to. Which makes this the first blog post which I’ve ever written an explicit database to generate.

My total: 65 hours, 20 minutes. Per week. Ye Gods, no wonder I have seven gigs of backlog. (Totaling at the moment: six days and 10 minutes. I.e., 144 hours and 20 minutes.)

I actually do have a system to keep this manageable, and I’ll detail it in a future post. For now, though, since I am frequently asked about my media diet, here’s the current podcast mix.

And The Winner Is…, 1 hour per week

Weekly selection of award-winning radio from the CBC.

Apple Keynotes, 0 hours per week

Video from Apple keynotes from MacWorld, WWDC, and special events. Rarely has new content, but a big whopping download when it does.

The Best of Definitely Not The Opera, .5 hours per week

Weekly CBC show “taking pop culture seriously.” I think of this show as being a Canadian version of “This American Life.” Quirky and usually interesting.

The Best of Ideas, 1 hour per week

Excellent show from the CBC with in-depth coverage of news events and historical topics. I’m only learning right now that the podcast is just one hour from a daily hour broadcast — if the CBC ever puts the full feed up, I’d subscribe immediately and to hell with how much I’m overloaded.

Car Talk, 1 hour per week

C’mon, it’s Car Talk. What, you don’t know about Car Talk? Okay, let’s put it this way: I’ve never learned how to drive, and I’ve listened to this show for 20 years.

Crossing Continents, 0.5 hours per week

International news from the BBC. Just started listening to this one, so I don’t have a feel for it yet.

Democracy Now, 5 hours per week

Daily news show from Pacifica Radio. This should be required listening for anyone who believes that the news media is liberally biased. This is left-wing radio, covering a wide variety of stories that I literally never hear elsewhere… at least, not until they get picked up months after Amy Goodman has broken them.

The Diane Rehm Show, 10 hours per week

Two hours daily of news analysis, book reviews, and intelligent discussion. Probably the best of breed of the NPR talk radio genre, but the topics are frequently skippable. Friday is always a news review of the week; if you miss it over that weekend, it doesn’t have much lasting value.

Discovery, .5 hours per week

Weekly science news show from the BBC.

Dispatches, 1 hour per week

Foreign affairs journalism from the CBC.

Documentaries, 2 hours per week

Selections from the BBC World Service archive. Most shows are good, some are outstanding; usually covers topics that don’t get much focus in US media.

The Ethicist, 0.1 hour per week

Randy Cohen narrates his weekly column in the New York Times. If you already read it, it’s the same content here. But his voice is amusingly snarky.

File on 4, .5 hours per week

BBC investigative journalism.

FLOSS Weekly, 1.25 hours per week

In-depth interviews each week with creators of open-source software. Skippable some weeks when I’m not interested in the topic, but I’ve learned about many cool projects via this show.

Forum: A World of Ideas, .75 hours per week

Weekly debate with academics about some “big idea” topic. Just started listening to this, but I think it’s going to become a fave.

Fresh Air, 5 hours per week

Interview show from Philly’s WHYY. Probably the best interviews on the radio, covering news and the arts. A near-fave: I don’t like every show, but some are spectacular.

Global News, 7 hours per week

Twice-daily half-hour summary of news from BBC World Service. Really, what more needs be said? The gold standard of radio news.

In Our Time, 1 hour per week

Weekly discussion of some very obscure academic topic. Instantly became one of my favorite shows. Earlier today I was listening to “Gödel’s Incompleteness Theorem” during dinner.

Intelligence Squared, 0.25 hours per week

Monthly “Oxford style” debates on a wide range of topics. Oxford style debates means that the participants actually ask each other questions and have to know what they’re talking about. Always worthwhile.

Kasper Hauser Comedy Podcast, 0 hours per week

Fantastic comedy from the guys who brought you the SkyMaul catalog. Unfortunately hasn’t been updated in a year.

Krulwich on Science, .2 hours per week

Short, funny reviews of science topics. More of a comedy show than a science show.

Le Show, 1 hour per week

Weekly satire from Harry Shearer. Occasionally brilliant, usually very good.

MacBreak Tech, 0 hours per week

Great show getting into technical details about the Mac. Seemingly either on hiatus or a very sporadic release schedule.

MacBreak Weekly, 1.25 hours per week

Weekly Mac news show masquerading as a bullshit session between very funny people. This show is a fave whenever Andy Ihnatko is on, otherwise it’s merely very good.

MacNotables, 1 hour per week

Discussion of various Mac topics by various Mac experts. Honestly, part of the reason why I listen is that I’ve met most of these people and I feel like I’m listening to friends chat about interesting issues. I expect any regular readers of MacWorld or TidBITS will be interested in this.

MacVoices, 1.5 hours per week

Interviews with various people in the Mac community: software programmers, book authors, etc. Sometimes skippable, but a good source for Mac news overviews.

Marketplace, 2.5 hours per week

Daily half-hour business news show on NPR. Great commentary, but I wish it were an enhanced podcast so I could skip stories I’m not interested in.

The Material World, .5 hours per week

Weekly science show from the BBC.

The News Quiz, .5 hours per week

BBC version of “Wait, Wait”.

NewsPod, 2.5 hours per week

Half-hour daily news summary from the BBC. Some overlap with the BBC World Service daily reports, but so far not enough to justify unsubscribing.

NPR Shuffle, 2.5 hours per week

Half-hour sampler of stories from Morning Edition, All Things Considered, Day to Day, and other shows.

The Onion News Network, 0.25 hours per week

Onion parody of CNN-style news videos. I have to watch each episode twice: once for the video, and again to read the headline crawl.

The Onion Radio News, .1 hour per week

Daily “news” broadcast from the Onion.

Open Source Sex, .1 hour per week

Interesting discussions led by sex educator and writer Violet Blue. Definitely NSFW. Extremely sporadic release schedule of late.

Quirks and Quarks, 1 hour per week

Weekly science coverage from the CBC. This show is one of my favorites.

Radio 4 Choice, .5 hours per week

Weekly documentary from the BBC. Just added.

Real Time with Bill Maher, 1.25 hours per week

Audio of the HBO show, plus a few minutes extra. Just started a hiatus until February.

Savage Love, 0.75 hours per week

Weekly podcast from Dan Savage, author of the Savage Love sex column in your local free weekly. This is not the same stuff that’s in the column; frank, funny, and usually featuring him savaging a clueless caller or their clueless significant other. Definitely a favorite.

Science Friday, 2 hours per week

Fantastic in-depth science review show. Better yet, they release each story as a separate podcast, so it’s easy to skip the few topics not worthwhile.

Science in Action, .5 hours per week

Weekly science news show from the BBC. More technical than some other science shows, and very good because of it.

Search Engine, 0.25 hours per week

Weekly CBC show about societal impacts of the Internet. This used to be a regular radio show, and survives as podcast-only after its cancellation. Quality has been a bit hit-or-miss since then, but still worth a listen.

Spark, 0.5 hours per week

Weekly tech news and social affairs show from the CBC. Eclectic coverage and point of view.

Studio 360, 1 hour per week

Excellent weekly show about creativity and the arts; they’ve done shows on everything from Superman to Aaron Copland, and the one I just downloaded is about Tesla. A fave.

TEDTalks, 1.75 hours per week

Fantastic, frequently jaw-dropping videos of talks from the TED conferences. A top fave.

Thinking Allowed, .5 hours per week

Weekly BBC discussion of sociology. Just added, but likely to be a fave.

This American Life, 1 hour per week

Brilliant, funny radio show from NPR. Really, if you’ve never heard The Santaland Diaries, then drop everything and go listen to it right now. A top fave.

The Unger Report, .1 hour per week

Weekly news satire. Hit or miss.

Wait, Wait… Don’t Tell Me!, 1 hour per week

Weekly comedy show covering the news in a quiz format. One of my faves.

The Writer’s Almanac, 0.5 hours per week

Daily five-minute “this day in the history of literature”, narrated by Garrison Keillor, with a daily poem. Wryly amusing and usually includes at least one daily bit of information I didn’t know and am glad to learn.

You Look Nice Today, .5 hours per week

Impossible to fully describe, but basically an improv comedy show from three very amusing, very geeky guys, including Merlin Mann. Frequently laugh-out-loud funny.