Hey, teachers! Here’s something you can do to kids you don’t particularly like.

Or you can make them fly a plane: kid’s birthday money stolen by the TSA.

Apparently, all the literate children move to Virginia. An Amazon contest shows three DC suburbs in Virginia in the top five purchases of Harry Potter 7; at press time, DC itself and the Maryland suburbs are absent or far behind. No, I don’t have a theory on what this means.