Worst story ideas ever, part 4

I have to read headline pitches. It’s boring. I mock the worst ones.

The current state of wood pulp in food

your diet is too high in fiber

Why Humans Feel Connected to Dolphins and Whales

we are increasingly overweight and incomprehensible

Fortnite Coach wanted to tell all

especially why your job exists

CEO’s looking to Public Speak (book)

cause good speak make big image, and exposure to illiterate writers is always good

What documents do you need for a business loan?

mostly green ones, approximately six by two inches

Will B2B Sales Ever Pass The Turing Test?

your question doesn’t

How Does Cooking Help Mental Health?

burns and cuts temporarily distract from existential despair

If your partner is a lot older or younger, please share how you make your relationship work

large estates to bequeath

Bathroom Habits That Can Add Years To Your Life

stop holding it for weeks at a time

What’s the single most effective way for organizations to track high-value assets?

call the A-Team, they can find anybody

Looking for cannabis entrepreneurs

check outside the 7-11, man

What have you done to get a deal?

flew to Helsinki and Singapore and met with monsters, but then I forgot to ask for anything in return

Worst story ideas ever, part 3

I have to read headline pitches. It’s boring. I mock the worst ones.

Is “summer penis” real? ISO doctors/urologist

no, mine vanishes from solstice to solstice

The Downside of Monogamy and the Upside of Adultery

not sure why you need experts to tell you this

Seeking Thought Leaders in Artificial Intelligence

wait, do you mean the human ones?

What’s the future for women entrepreneurs?

about half

Future customer experience trends: 2019

will continue to hate airlines and Comcast

Tempest fighter jet: Has data power replaced air power?

wtf no

Cat massage

there are two things this can mean and both are creepy

How do you give a tall daughter confidence?

point and laugh at short girls

Back to School Gift Guide (my blog has over 1 million page views per month)

Irrelevant Non Sequitur (I won 2nd place in a 1984 science fair)

Worst story ideas ever, part 2

I have to read headline pitches. It’s boring. I mock the worst ones.

Seeking health professionals to discuss the negative health effects of wearing an ill fitting bra

because apparently “it hurts like hell” isn’t a good enough reason

How To Overcome Writer’s Block

get a phone call from your agent, “you have to finish or give the money back” (hypothetically, so I hear)

Seeking Christian (Women Who Rock with Success)

seeking writers who (understand punctuation)

The Health Benefits Of Waking Up Before Sunrise

wait so paleo diet is good because it’s paleo but “be awake when it’s light out” is somehow bad now

How to Talk to Your Partner About Your Sexual Frequency

there are four different ways to interpret this and I’m going with electromagnetic wavelengths

Coconut Oil for Horses (Anonymous)

you should at least tell us what country you’re in so we can leave it

How to reheat a baked potato

ask the guy who didn’t know how to microwave a sweet potato yesterday

Budgeting as Part of the Sandwich Generation

set up a gofundme to raise money from the pepsi generation

Do women like beards?

if your editor wants a story longer than one word, you may want to rethink

Seeking dancers and scientist on why some people truly have no rhythm?

the profession you want is “anthropologist” because rhythm is culturally defined

Bilingual AI Expert/Programmer Needed

and must love dogs

Global Hotspots 2030: Where The Smart Money Will Go Next

obviously, anywhere but the places you print in the story

Redeem United Miles

fly somewhere

Still looking for bingeable Netflix Original Series!

still don’t understand how this could possibly require an expert to interview!

Ways for retirees to enjoy Labor Day for free

no, it’s every other day they enjoy, sitting on their lawns pointing and laughing at people going to work

How to turn a bedroom into a flex room

drive rifts in your family such that they can’t stand to be around you half the time

The Best Apps for Small Business of All Time

try something more specific, like “best apps for people with opposable thumbs”

If you’re a perfectionist, use these ways to keep your cool with a boss who is not

or perhaps tell your readers that their boss is right and they may need therapy

Things That Make You Look Old

being old

Worst story ideas ever, part 1

I recently signed up with a news service in order to promote my book. They send me headlines of stories that journalists want to write, I reply if someone is writing a story I’m expert on.

This is very boring as I have to read 100 headlines for every one I reply to. And some of these are ridiculous. Therefore, I will mock them.

Signs The Universe Is Trying To Hook You Up With “The One”

you become spaghettified as you pass the event horizon of a black hole

tips to make sure you and your employees aren’t breaking the law

discard the business model of robbing banks

Strategies to Increase Your Organization’s Market Share

sell more things

How sleep can help your skin look better

avoids needing to use meth to stay awake

The Health Benefits Of Sleeping With Your Dog

people with germs tend to avoid people who practice bestiality

Looking for sources for a story about pet sharks

the longer you wait, the harder they are to find

How to microwave sweet potatoes

if this is unclear, a kitchen contains sharp objects and you should not be near them

Ways to Use Canned Sardines in Cooking

getting your in-laws to leave early

Bonding with horses

you should talk to that guy with the dog

Get Message URL

Get Message URL is free of charge to purchasers of Take Control of Your Productivity. If you use this software and have not purchased a copy, please do so.

Get Message URL creates a URL for any message you’ve selected in Mac Mail and puts it on the clipboard, which you can paste into any application with a text field. Most apps then let you click on the link; otherwise, you can select it, right-click on it, and choose Open URL from the contextual menu.

Use instructions on the Take Control blog.


1.0.1, July 16 2018: Initial release and minor documentation edits


This software is unsupported, but if you send email to takecontrol [at this website’s domain] with the subject line “Get Message URL:” followed by your subject, your email may be used to update and improve this app, if any such updates are released. (That’s the boilerplate; I can’t make any promises that there will improvements, fixes, or any other updates. That’s not say I won’t.)

This software is provided as-is and with no warranty. The user assumes all risk from the use of this software. It has been tested on macOS 10.13, and may not work properly on older or newer Mac operating systems. This software is © Jeff Porten 2018. All rights reserved. alt concepts inc., the publisher of the Take Control ebook series, has no involvement in nor responsibility for this software.

Get Message URL 1.0.1